A Bully Cut My Daughter's Hair: What We Learned From This Experience

We hear the word bully used everywhere these days.  It's almost as if bullies just emerged out of nowhere but let's not forget, bullies have always been around.  What's the difference now?  How they are bullying is getting to be more + more serious each year.  As a family, we never really had a problem with bullies.  We told our children to "ignore" mean kids and they will go away.  I'm sure that's a common statement many parents tell their kids and sometimes it works.  But in a case where another child comes at your child with scissors, then what?!  Certainly we're not going to ignore it!!

Most of us Moms have received that phone call from the school that starts off with "Hi Mrs. Horn, your child is fine, I just called to let you know...".  It's intended to calm a parent because the school doesn't call you regularly so when they do, we immediately think the worse.  Especially in this world we live in.  Unfortunately as the conversation went on, it was clear that this teacher was way more calm than I needed her to be... "one of the students in class cut off an insignificant amount of hair on Taylor's head.  Everyone is fine.  I wanted to call and inform you in case Taylor came home upset".  Insignificant?  INSIGNIFICANT?!  First of all, scissors are considered a weapon.  So, what you're telling me is that another student came at my child with a weapon and you're JUST calling me in case Taylor comes home upset?

When I say, I couldn't get dressed fast enough to drive up to that school...  To this day, I can't remember why my husband was home from work but I'm convinced God knew that I would need to be calmed down.  I hung up with the teacher and called the principal immediately in which I was told that they were proctoring state exams.  Obviously I was in that 'spiraling out of control' Mom mode and hearing that the Principal was too busy to tend to this situation just angered me even more.   Next up, time to go to the school.  My husband questioned a million times why we were heading to the school if the Principal was busy.  My answer "we'll wait..."!  Long story short, we spoke with the Principal and the "bully" was suspended for several days.  Although I did get the impression that nothing would've happened had we not cared enough to address it.

DISCLAIMER:  Taylor Big Chopping was already planned prior to this incident.

What happened with Taylor?  Glad you asked. She came home un-phased.  It actually was a very small piece of hair (think a piece of frizz) that was cut... doesn't matter though.  Furthermore, she seemed upset that we had gone to the school and spoken with the Principal.  She was concerned that the girl and her friends would become retaliatory and tease her for "telling".  You see, Taylor had been ignoring these girls bullying her since she started at the school.  They made fun of the way she dressed, how she acted and even how she talked.  She took our advice that we had always given and ignored the girls.  Where we failed as parents is not sharing with her WHEN she should get help.  WHEN to say something because it's going too far.  Taylor shared that these girls giggled and talked about her (they sat right behind her) almost everyday and she just ignored them.  When asked if the teacher knew or heard them, Taylor said the whole class heard them so it would only makes sense that the teacher knew and did nothing.  Hence the teacher's laid back demeanor when calling me about the INSIGNIFICANT incident.  It was clear to me that it was time to update our ancient parenting tips we had given them as toddlers and so we did.

We do our best as parents to teach our children to be kind to others.  Respect your friends, Keep your hands to yourself, Stick + Stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.  But words do hurt and sometimes those words turn to actions.  It's important that our children KNOW (not think) we are in their corner for situations like this.  Remember way back in the day, the phrase "Ooooh, Imma tell my Momma...", would be a serious threat?!  Let's bring that back.  This entire situation taught us that the lessons we may have taught our children years ago need to be dusted off and refreshed from time to time.  All of our children now know that they don't have to fight battles by themselves.  Mom will always be here to run up into someone's school and Dad will always be here to be a voice of reason so Mom doesn't get arrested.

If you want to know more about how this incident played out once the student returned from suspension + the school year continued, let me know below.  Maybe we'll do a video or go Live on Instagram.

Until next time.  XOXOMCS.